22/8/2022 Chagmay Rinpoche’s 3rd Talk on Meditation (2)
About post-meditation, in Gampopa’s book, it says that we should avoid idle talk and useless chatter, how do I distinguish it from socializing?
Yeah, I mean, basically, gossiping. Gossiping, or useless talk, everything, is also included in the ten unvirtuous deeds. Basically, the result of all these talks, useless talks, and gossiping, it takes you further and further and further away from practice. That is the negative result of these qualities. But when you say, when you have to socialize, and then talk, there is one saying, that is quite useful: if you know it is useless talk, there is always skillful methods that can be applied towards that certain moment, or every day in our lives. Because we live in a community, so on. If we recognize that we have to use the useless talks, useless topics, you know, just gossiping, to recognize that. If it is not coming from jealousy, anger, or hatred, that is fine, I mean, if you notice. Because when people talk, usually, gossiping, it is either coming from jealousy, or hatred, or anger, or you know, it is always coming from these. When we talk about someone else, it is either because, there is some jealousy, or hatred, or anger. So if these qualities is not within your mind, this is how you distinguish gossiping…but, still gossiping, but not gossiping. When you socialize with people, and then everyone is talking this and that, I mean, you can add on a few sentences, just to make everyone happy too. Because if you don’t talk, and if you just listen, listen, listen, and then don’t say anything, that would be weird too with your friends, or anyone, your colleagues. That’s why I say, skillful methods can be applied in our everyday lives. Skillful methods is knowing, but at the same time, adapting. And then if you can become skillful, I mean, if you can become used to using these kinds of methods, then you can have opposite effects on the others too, you can have positive effects on others as well. If you are gossiping, and then if the negative qualities are not arising within you, then it is okay. Okay meaning, it is good for you, because you don’t go into that quality.
是的，基本上是講是非。講是非或無用的談話等等都是被包含在十不善業之中。這些談話的結果會使你遠離修行，與修行之路越來越遠。這就是負面的結果。但若果你說，你需要因為社交而談話，那有一個頗為有用的做法：當你知道將要講無意義的談話，其實有善巧的方法，可以在特定的時候運用，或在我們日常的生活中應用，因為我們都在社區裏生活。若果我們察覺到我們要講無意義的話、無聊的話題、 要講是講非時，就要去認出它。若果它不是出於妒忌、憤怒、嗔恨，那是可以的，當然是若果你能察覺到的話。因為當人們談話、講是非，通常都是出於妒忌、嗔恨，或憤怒，它常常都是基於這些負面的心態。當我們談及別人，這是因為妒忌、嗔恨，或憤怒。所以，若果你的心不是帶著這些負面的東西，這就是你如何區別出是不是在講是非。須然依然是閒話，但不是在講是非。當你與人社交，然後所有人都在說這樣，說那樣，你可以搭上幾句，只是為了令別人開心。因為若果你不說話， 若果你只是聽著，然後甚麼都不說，那你的朋友、其他人或你的同事，都會覺得你很奇怪。這是我說善巧的方法可以應用到每日的生活的意思。善巧的方法是覺察，不過同時也是適應。若果你可以習慣使用這種方法，你就可以對別人帶起相反的作用，你可以對別人有正面的影響。若果你講閑話，而負面的情緒沒有在你身上生起，那是可以的。可以的意思是，這是對你好的，因為你沒有那些不良的質素。